The internet is my friend.

Have I ever mentioned I hate surprises? I really do. I dislike the uncertain, I’ve always been nervous in new situations, the obvious would be starting a new job, meeting new people, joining a class or group and even simple things like trying a new restaurant, going into a clothing store I’ve never been in before or trying to drive somewhere I’ve never been. Not many people understand this, or even would believe me – things that seem like they shouldn’t be big deal to anyone, really are huge issues for me.

That is why the Internet is my best friend. I research EVERYTHING before I do it. I use google maps to get exact directions, to locate parking, and find out exactly how many minutes it’s going to take me to get somewhere. I use google to research restaurants, events, concerts, vacations (tripadvisor.com is amazing for this) Disneyland rides, Disneyland hotels, restaurants & menus around my locations. Somethings I can get by with by observing other’s social cues– like ordering a sandwich from a new deli (this took me two months to build up enough courage to do at my work’s food court – the first time I was super anxious, but the second time I didn’t have to think twice about). I have no clue how people lived without the Internet before? Phone calls? Phone calls also make me nervous, and usually I rehearse the conversation in advance so I know what I’m going to say. The internet doesn’t judge if I make a mistake, I can always press the back button.

So if you’ve ever traveled with me and wondered why am I so obsessive compulsive about time, lists and organizing details, now you know.

This anxiety doesn’t bode well for me in the next few months when my living situation & job security (my contract expires) are up in the air. I can already feel my blood pressure rising, and I woke up this morning stressed to the max with my shoulder tightened and my teeth clenched. It’s a story for another day…. Perhaps when it all works out in the end.

I think it’s time to google Xanax.

Ps. My strategy of not digging out my car in the hopes that the snow would magically go away, worked. The trick is to park overtop of a storm grate, so when the flooding rain arrives, the City is forced to dig around and in front of your car to allow the water to drain; thus freeing your car of snow allowing you to drive without anysort of manual labour. Thanks City of North Vancouver – I’ll pretend that $25 dollar parking ticket you made me pay a few months ago went toward the digging labour.