Life changes are scary

The real world is a scary place, and I don’t know if I’m ready to be a big girl making big girl decisions.

My job is changing in September, I’ve been offered to take a ‘new position’ going in a ‘new direction’ with my current employer, but in reality, it’s not what I want to do with my life, and it’s not where I want to be. Therefore, I am officially unemployed in the next few months. I’ve never been unemployed, there was a 6 month stint in New Zealand at Capernwray where I didn’t have job, but I had one waiting for me when I returned.

Now, I have rent, insurance and all the responsibilities that go along with those things and I’m panicking. I tend to be an over achiever, aiming high and already have an amazingly great opportunity possibly lined up – the down side is that I’d start as soon as possible, meaning that my vacation to Mexico with Derek the first two weeks is in Jeopardy.

We’ve been looking forward to this vacation for a year, the first two weeks of September on a beach in Mexico, pure bliss…. Derek booked this time off in January and I feel terrible making him miss out. He’s pretty understanding about letting my career come first, but I know he’s really disappointed.

What to do? This position is crazy big in the world of PR, I’d be set for life if I succeeded. To turn it down because of a small move (okay, well maybe not small) and 2 weeks of missed vacation is wrong right??? Right????

Aidez-moi.

Hmmm maybe I should just relax and see what happens. I tend to try and control situations when I should really just Trust. Anything’s possible right? I guess my mantra should become ‘God has a plan’ ‘God has a plan’ ‘God has a plan’

On a happier note, I go sailing from Tuesday – Friday.
Fabulous photos are just days away. I'd post some great photos from my weekend, but I left my camera at my Parents house. I feel naked without it.

Lol??

I just read something amusing, and instead of laughing in my head… I managed to think the word ‘lol’. Yes… something that stands for ‘laughing out loud’. Terrible. When did that make its way into my everyday vocabulary? Less facebook, more novel.

I need to pick up a few books for next week for my sailing trip (if it actually happens** don’t get me started), hopefully that will restore my inner monologue to something more along the lines of a 25 year old educated female, and less of a 14 old texting nerd.

Speaking of Sailboats… it’s officially ours, we signed the final papers yesterday and they handed us keys. CRAZY because we spent 8 months waiting for it to be built and arrive in Canada! My mom and I headed down to check it out – here are a few pictures. If you’re not a yachty snob and don’t know how freaking sweet this boat is, it’s like the Bentley of sailboats.

you'll have to excuse the look on my face, my mother the anti christ of technology

was attempting to take pictures with the lens pointing her way...

it took 6 tries for her to turn the camera around...

I wasn't ready when she finally got it.

This was the view driving down lonsdale at 5:30 this morning. Beautiful.

It's also hard to take a photo and not run pedestrians over.

I heart Summer

Last night it officially felt like summer. It was in the mid 20's, the sun was shining and I spent almost 30 minutes in the shower getting sand out of my hair & ears.

Our team was super rusty..... and bad. It was pretty sad how terrible I played, we tied our first game (and most likely lost when it comes to calculating points) but bounced back and won our next three.

I managed to take a few photos. The final two photos are from the Stagette in Kelowna.

(hot tub)

Beach Volley = summer

My beach volleyball season begins tonight, Summer doesn't officially start for me until beach season begins. I really love it, I've been playing for quite a few years in a rec league, this is my second year with the same team. We're pretty decent and managed to come 2nd overall last year, so who knows how we'll do this year.

It's really not about the winning though, it's more about sitting at Jericho beach with your friends, rotating in and out of play, laughing and getting a bit of excersize. I always get nervous for the first game of the year, as I havn't played since Mexico last year.

I'll try and take some photos if I have time.

Oh and on a side note, I totally had one of those God is amazing, prayer answered days. It's a good feeling to have such a wicked Savior.

Girls are mean.

It’s been a very interesting weekend, as I type this I am sitting lake side at a resort in Kelowna for my sister – in-law to be. It hasn’t been the relaxing weekend I was hoping for; girls are really something else when they get into packs. A group of six has to automatically split into groups of three who bad mouth each other behind their backs….. and then later the cliques change people and you gossip about those who you were just with…. Interesting. I’ve never been good with girls, I can do one-on-one, but a weekend of 6 has made me wary of doing anything like this again. We dropped into the boys stag yesterday which isn't too far from us, and I felt instantly comfortable... perhaps I was meant to be a boy??

Yesterday we visited some great wineries in Naramata, about an hour south of Kelowna. I highly recommend La Frenz and Therapy and picked some amazing bottles you can’t buy in Vancouver. I’m excited to share them with Derek. I was driving, so I kept having to spit out the wine (although I swallowed the good ones….), so I’m excited to spend some time with my wine.

Speaking of Derek, I miss him. I made the mistake of calling him yesterday, and was so incredibly homesick by the end of the conversation that I started to cry. He’s a keeper. The more I hear about other girls relationships, the more I appreciate and respect what we have together.

Anyways, I better go… the girls are starting to wake up and we need to pack up soon to head home. I’ll share photos later.

The question I hate.

I’m one of those complex beings who loves stability, but needs change to stay mentally stimulated. I feel like nothing new is going on in my life… I keep running into people who haven’t seen me in several months, and I dread the question ‘So what’s new with you?’ the quick answer is always Nothing. Nothing has changed, but in reality, I’d love to answer more. I’d love to say ‘I just changed jobs’ or ‘I just got back from this fabulous trip’ or ‘I got a dog’…… but no… I’m stuck in a rut.

Although I have been doing long, relaxing runs this week. They’ve been helping me bring perspective to issues and allowing me to stay sane. My body is killing this morning after I accidentally took a new trail halfway through an already long run, that I thought would be a short detour. It added a good 30 minutes to an already brutal run. Apparently Poodador was so tired this morning she refused to get out bed for her walk & breakfast.

I’m going to take up yoga again this week. I stopped after some pretty negative/uncomfortable experiences in one studio, so I’m attempting to find another studio that works with my schedule. I think I may have found one, it’s a bit further to drive, but I really enjoyed the calmness of yoga. It gave me a place to de-stress and relax, whilst using my body. I’m not boxing as much anymore, I’m still coaching four times a week, but I don’t get the same enjoyment out of it anymore. It used to be just a work out, now everybody knows me, my business and I get sucked into too much drama. Just let me punch the bag and leave!! I took last Friday off work to spend it with Derek, and I opened up the gym early and got a great workout in. It was nice because it was just about Me and the Bag, nothing else.

This weekend is Stephanie’s (my sister-in-law to be) stagette in Kelowna, it’s super frustrating because her friends keep dropping out, or deciding they’re not going to stay in the villa I rented (after agreeing to) so now I’m stuck paying an extra $700, because I booked it when people agreed to it… sigh. Her bridal party is a total example of ‘who NOT to pick’ (other than me). It’s super frustrating having to pick up the slack for them, because Steph expects things from us, and only I deliver. But I guess that’s another topic for another day. Its no secret that Stephanie and I aren’t friends, but I’ve been going out of my way to try and build a friendship and make this wedding special for her…. Sigh.... I guess we'll grow to like each other, but I have my doubts.

Anyways, here are a few pictures from last week.

Good Wine, Friends and Family + a kickass camera

Fabulous weekend! I was able to use my new camera quite a bit - and I'm totally in love. I can't wait for surfing or mexico! It shall be grand.

My cousin and her daughter Karalee came into town on Saturday for a suprise visit. I use the cousin title loosely, as my parents raised her... so she's more like a sister. Anyways, I got to spend time with, who usually is flanked by a twin and older brother - so we got some quality girl time when I took her shopping. She doesn't understand the concept of shopping though, I kept hearing 'but I have enough tank tops/shoes/skirts at home!!' WHAT? Karalee!! We have grandma's credit card, that's NOT the right attitude!!! Needless to say, 30 outfits later in a Gap kids changeroom and she started to get the hang of it!
I was hoping lululemon did a kids line so I could make her a mini me.... but I did a pretty good job none the less!

Anyways, I believe a picture is worth a thousand words... so I present to you my essay.

Rocks glistening under the river's surface

Mon Amour

Derek's hockey game on Friday, He's the goalie.

Poodador stairing at the camera underneath the surface

Karalee building inukshuks

The riverbed behind my house

Poodador watching her river. Yes it's hers.

River Rocks, taken beneath the surface

Life is pretty sweet when you grow up with this as your back yard

Flat tires in the ghetto.

And the answer is Green! My new Camera is green! I went with the 1030SW Olympus which came with glowing recommendations from Michelle’s dad. I’m pretty stoked about it. However, all my elation came to a crashing halt once I received a flat tire out in Surrey late last night.

It was super frustrating because I could kind of feel something wrong with the car so I decided to find a gas station in Surrey closest to the highway, but they didn’t supply air for tires…. And then next gas station I found made you pay 50 cents for air…. Paying for air seems just so wrong! By the time I actually got to fill it up, it was pretty low, but I really didn’t want to be stuck in Surrey and I have no clue how to change a flat tire, so I pumped it full of air and hopped back on the highway….. I then had to pull off in Coquitlam (the next town along the highway) and it took 2 try’s to find a gas station that had an air pump (shouldn’t these be mandatory… and free?).

So I continued down the highway pulling off the highway at almost every exit to find a gas station that supplied air. It was a very frustrating and long drive home! I kept calling Derek and crying over my situation, but felt guilty making him drive out to save me.

I finally got home 2 hours later. It was brutal and stressful. I left my car in front of my tire and vowed to change it (or employ a boy to change it) in the morning. One of my bootcampers happens to live next door to me and offered to change it, but there were these stupid locks on my alloy tires that I don’t have a key for….. so I called my brother (who has the same wheels) and he dragged himself out of bed to help me… turns out the ‘locks’ aren’t locks and all – and just caps needed to be pulled off. Oops.

Anyways, long story short, my tire is unfixable and it’s costing me $360 to get a new one. The same week I spent $500 on a new camera…. Sigh…… I either need to a) win the lottery or b) make more money.

Being a grown up is hard. I'm ready for the weekend because my emotional bank (and financial) is low.

To Camera? Or not to Camera?

I think I’m going to take the plunge this week and buy myself this Camera.

It’s the Olympus 1030SW meaning it’s waterproof, crushproof and washing machine proof! Actually, to give Olympus credit, Derek once ran his NON-waterproof Olympus Digital through the Wash and once it dried, it still worked. So hopefully the Waterproof version gives me similar results. (not that I plan on washing it, although I did ruin a cell phone that way)

Considering I do so much kayaking, surfing and wakeboarding…. and snorkeling…. and sailing… and hiking in the rain…….. it seems like a great investment, and I killed my first Nikon with moisture from a wet hike in New Zealand leaving me paranoid towards electronics.

Olympus has another model, the 770W so I’m kind of torn…. The 770 also has a smaller price tag, but I’m pretty sure the 1030 takes better pictures. I actually know nothing about Cameras and which would be better to purchase, it falls into the clueless about technology and science department of my brain…. Anything to do with technical jargon and numbers shuts my mind down. (hence the Public Relations degree). But I’d like a camera that takes great photos both on and off the water – and I don’t want to purchase a camera that is only good in water.

My best friend Michelle’s dad is a professional photographer and runs a Camera store on the North Shore, so I’m going to pop in and talk to him about it. I’m pretty sure they sell both there, and he’ll give me good honest opinions without the salesman bull**** like at Future Shop or London Drugs.


Now to decide on a colour……

D & K

If I could have just one wish,I would wish to wake up everyday

to the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta